Deck the Halls-Sorta

We live in a lovely small town. As a matter of fact, we live downtown in the Historic District. Folks here are rather proud of the neighborhood. Many of the homes are very old with huge moldings, multiple fireplaces, and wavy glass windows. I know you have a picture in your mind right? Our house is one of the newest in the area. It was built in 1972. It may be our favorite house ever. I like living around all the beauty and history, but I really like have walk-in closets, a 3 car garage, and all those sorts of "frivolous things".

One of the fun things that we do as a neighborhood is decorate the area for Christmas. This is the roundabout right beside our house. Isn't it lovely?

This year we decided to put a Christmas tree in each yard with white lights. We are on a circle, so it's very pretty to drive through and see all the trees and decorations. Lots of people drive through. We are one of those "must see" places for those in the city to visit during the holidays.

I'm telling you all of this because I want you to fully appreciate the work of my husband. He hung the wreaths on each window, the swags from fronts porch lanterns, the wreaths on our front door, and the tree in the yard. He went to the trouble to put "anchors"(I'm sure that's not the right name) on the tree base that went about 6 " into the ground so it wouldn't fall over. Nice. Well done. However, a tornado came through and knocked it over at 2am. Understandable. A couple of days later, it was on it's side again. Oh, brother. He set it up again. The next day it was down again. Do we have vandals? Well my husband, the engineer decided that he could and would fix this problem. OUR tree would no longer be on it's side during the holidays. Below you will see his handiwork. Think this will work? It's been effective since Wednesday. He thought this was a perfectly WONDERFUL solution to our situation. Can you imagine how much our neighbors like it? I laughed and shook my head most of the night. He wondered if maybe we should swath it in red bunting or something. What do think? (I personally think the guy is losing it!!) Quite the attention getter wouldn't you say?

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night! Ride around and enjoy the Christmas lights.

GOOD NEWS

Today I went to Dr. Forero at the Kirklin Clinic. He felt the tumor on my back and said it seemed smaller. I'm to continue my medicine and see him again at the end of March! That seems light years away. He reminded me that hormone therapy is much slower than chemotherapy, but it does seem to be working. So, that's the good news.

The above are the facts. Here's the way I feel-somewhat unsettled. How the heck does he know that the tumor has shrunk? He felt the tumor in my back for less than a minute. How does he remember how it felt on Oct 15th? How many people has he examined since then? Why didn't he order a scan to see what difference there really may be? I want something measurable, concrete. I don't want "It seems smaller", I want "It is _% smaller. At this rate there should be no evidence of disease by ____(this date)". Call me impatient, you'd be right.

We leave Jan 4th to go to Houston for an evaluation at MD Anderson. They will do scans there and will have all of my scans from Kirklin Clinic to be able to determine measurable differences. They told us to expect to be in Houston for at least a week. It could be an interesting week on several levels. We'll be in Houston when Alabama and Texas play each other for the National Championship. Totally different thought, does anyone know a great church to visit while in Houston? I have heard through the years of some good ones, but they don't come to mind now.

Thank you for your prayers, calls, care, and concern. It means more than I can tell you!

Tomorrow is the BIG DAY

Tomorrow (Tuesday) I go to UAB for my evaluation. They expect to be able to tell me how effective the Femara has been on reducing my tumor size and number. I'm a bit nervous about this. I'd love them to say there is no evidence of disease. There's no chance of that tomorrow however. We can still feel the tumor on my back. It gives me great comfort to know that I'm in the hands of a mighty God , and he knew all of this long, long ago.

House Ready for Christmas? Yikes!

It seems that everyone is ready for Christmas. I see postings of beautifully done rooms, impecably decorated trees and on and on. Well, that just hasn't been me-so far! Normally the weekend after Thanksgiving, I get out the Christmas china and we have at least got the lights on the tree by the Sunday after. Welcome to a new time in our life! My house is a mess! We did get the tree in a few days after we got back from San Francisco. Friday afternoon Dec. 11th!!!! I got lights on HALF our tree. I got up Saturday morning bound and determined to get the tree done.

Little by little it finally happened. Hooray! At long last...

San Francisco

We had a great week in San Francisco visiting Will, Jenny, and the kids. We did a little bit of sight seeing, but primarily focused on being with the family.

We got to San Francisco Sat night. Will and Jenny had gone to Louisiana to be in a dear friend's wedding. We took over for the babysitter. We were glad when the kids woke up the next morning glad to see us. We managed to get them fed and dressed and almost on time to church.

After church we ate at Crepes and Coffee then back home for naps. After naps we took the kids to a great park We had a view of the skyline of the city from the park. So fun! Will and Jen got in later that night.

We were thrilled to get to go to Annie's Thanksgiving program at school. It's the first time we've ever had the chance to go to any of their programs, games, etc. We were quite impressed. The five year old classes had memorized several songs and a poem. it went off without a hitch. Annie had a speaking part and of course we thought she was the best.

After the program we went to William's flag football game. Envision this-flag football at age three. It was fun to watch as all the little kids scrambled. William made 4 touchdowns! Will told Mr. Rudy (the coach) after the game to keep an eye out for William. Both of his grandfathers had played in the SEC at Auburn. Mr. Rudy was dutifully impressed. Jenny's dad, Jim, was actually Mr. Football in Georgia his senior year in high school. Jim told us he had already done a play-by-play of William's running-haha.

That evening we went to an early Thanksgiving (covered dish) dinner at a ministry called New Door Venture. Will is on the board there and seems to think they do a very good job. The group strives to find young people who have had major problems in their lives and train them in job skills, place them in a job, and teach them about the Lord. I'm not giving a great description, but that is the gist of it.

The next day I crashed. I think I slept 14 hours that night/day!

Alcatraz

Alcatraz is definitely not a place where anyone would ever want to spend time in prison. Talk about isolated! The cells are TINY-9'x7'. There was a bed, a toilet, a "table", a seat, and a shelf.

I didn't know, until I went that many of the guards and their families actually lived on the island. There were apartments for them. There were bowling alleys, garden clubs, and generally an "ideal life". The children of the guards would ride the ferry

over to San Francisco every day for school. It was a 12 minute ferry ride. It seems to me that one of the hardest things for a prisoner would be to look across the bay and see the city. They could see what was happening, but might as well have been a world away.

King Tut

On Wednesday afternoon Bill and I took Annie to the King tut exhibit at the DeYoung Museum. I have wanted to do that for years, but never seemed to be able to get there. It was amazing to see the abilities that the artist had 1,500 years before Christ! The jewelry was magnificent. The decorative vases, carved model boats, masks, and many, many other things were absolutely stunning. I wish we had been able to make pictures, but no photography was allowed.

Thanksgiving Feast

I'm not kidding about the feast part. Jenny, the trained chef, really outdid herself. My only contributions were apple cranberry bake, gravy, and pecan pies. She did everything else. Here's the menu.

Oven Roasted Turkey

Cornbread Dressing

Brussel Sprouts

Green Beans

Sweet Potatoes Au Gratin (to die for)

Winter Green Salad (with spring greens, feta cheese, pear, dried cranberries, pecans)

Apple Cranberry Bake

Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Annie worked most of the morning making complicated turkey name cards for each place setting. There was also a wreath made of assorted paper cut out (die cut) fall leaves. Bill and Will took the kids to the park while we (Jenny really) got it all together. That was a life saver.

What a wonderful day!

We were able to make some family pictures that day too. Thought you might enjoy seeing some of them.

Williams Sonoma

Would you believe the only store I entered the whole time I was in SF was the flagship store of Williams Sonoma? So unlike me. They had lots of great stuff-as always. However the thing that really caught my eye was a mold of small gingerbread houses. There are six different small houses in 1 mold. I thought-"Oh! these would be so fun to make with the grandchildren every Christmas."

Then I thought-I probably won't be here for more Christmases. I'm not going to spend $36. on a cake pan I may use once! However, Jenny's insisted, and I bought it. Morbid thoughts. Gotta get over that.

Crissy Field

Saturday morning we took the kids to Crissy Field while Will and Jenny did a bit of Christmas shopping nearby. The kids had a ball. This used to be a military air field and it's right on the ocean. To our left was the Golden Gate Bridge. In front of us was the Pacific Ocean with ships, sailboats, kite flyers, dogs chasing frisbees, and all manner of people. To our right was the city.

What a place!

MD Anderson and ME

Big News. I talked to a nurse at MD Anderson yesterday for a long time. It cleared up several things for me. First of all, she raved on and on about what a great facility UAB is. I agreed. Next, she told me that Femara, the drug that I take daily is the most common drug for metastatic breast cancer. She went on to explain that I should take Femara for 8-12 weeks before evaluating how well it's working. She explained that in the same way you take an antibiotic for an infection, no doctor would stop the treatment half way through to see if it was working. You take the full course of medicine. For a clearer picture of how my tumors are responding we need to evaluate after I've taken a "full course. " I'm penciled in for evaluation at MD Anderson Jan 4th. The scheduler there is checking her team's load to make sure that date will work for everyone involved. She also told me (as had my team of doctors at UAB) that surgery would not be an option because of the number and locations of my tumors. That was a HUGE relief. I can't even explain how much I hate surgery. "NEVER AGAIN" has been my motto about surgery. (Of course, I have been known to have to eat my words before.)

Another thing I excited about is that I get to wait until after the holidays to go to Houston. All the girls will be here on Christmas. I'm so glad we'll have that time together. We get to go to San Francisco to see Will, Jenny, and the kids for Thanksgiving. We can hardly wait! It's so fun to have these things to look forward to.

I feel back to my peaceful self. No more fear of surgery. I really am not feeling bad. What a blessing! If you're going to have cancer, it is definitely a benefit to have a kind that doesn't hurt.

I still get slammed by fatigue sometimes-but not always. It's very inconsistent. I think that I'm doing a great job of listening to my body. A few days ago, the end of 4th period came and I suddenly felt wiped out. I thought, I'll just go into my Home Ec living room (that adjoins my classroom) and lie down for ten minutes or so and that will revive me. Perfect time for my planning period. Well, 46 minutes later I woke up for a dead, drooling sleep! I had exactly 6 minutes until my next class came in. I was "fresh as a daisy" for the rest of the day. Think I needed that?

Sorry this has been so long. I wanted to catch you up on all the happenings.

Like A fish On A Hot Rock

Can't you just picture it? A fisherman out by a stream snags a fish, removes the hook and tosses the prize onto a rock at the waters edge. The fish are biting. He's got to keep casting to get more. The fish on the rock baking in the sun flips back and forth, back and forth desperately needing to flip back into that cool, life-giving water. Occasionally, one will manage to flip back in undetected when the fisherman's back is turned.

That fish has been like me the last couple of days. I flip from peace to fear, peace to fear. I had been very contentedly swimming in God's mercy, grace, and peace. Then I got snagged by fear and have become tossed about. I long to be back in the refreshing, life giving waters.

I have decided to go to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston for a second opinion. My cancer is very rare in it's manifestation. I'm hoping that perhaps they have dealt with cases like mine and will be able to advise me as to the best course of action. My great hope is that they will say "Take the Femara that UAB gave you and in some period of time you will be in remission."

My fear is that I'll go to Houston and they may say, "Ok, let's cut out those 3 operable tumors. We'll leave that inoperable one and give you some strong chemo then radiation to hopefully get rid of it." That's where the fear starts. I DON'T want surgery, chemo, and radiation again. I've been there and done that and it was a nightmare for me. Side effect lasted 2.5 years. On the other hand, I want to be around a lot longer. (I want my grandchildren's wedding programs to list seating of the grandmothers and that be ME! I don't want "the flowers are given in loving memory of Mimi...")

If you are the praying kind would you pray that I won't be tricked by the fancy bait that is thrown my way? I long to stay back in the life -giving waters of peace. I want to stay the course faithfully.

The Best Weekend Get Away Ever

Bill and I really needed a break. It seemed that our lives had been turned upside down in the last week. We decided to run away. We even missed the Squires annual Halloween Party (the only disappointment of the weekend). Bill and I had THE best weekend away we've ever had. It was lazy and fun. It was romantic and refreshing. It was-well you get the idea. It was great. If you ever feel the need for a real retreat and indulgence I've got just the place for you, Gorham's Bluff in Pisgah AL. Never heard of it? It's in the middle of nowhere on a bluff overlooking the Tennessee River. It's been rated as one of the most romantic places to go by Travel and Leisure magazine. It's been in Southern Living several times and in Southern Lady. Check it out. http://www.gorhamsbluff.com/ It seemed to be at the peak of fall color this weekend. An added bonus for us is that it's only a little over an hour from Gadsden. We would have rated the meals there as four star. Even the grits at breakfast were exceptional!

I Win- I've Got The Best Excuse Ever

School is actually fun these days. Almost all of the students are loving learning to sew. I try to brag about something that each student does every day. "Look how much you've improved over last time. Wow! I couldn't have done that any better myself! Maybe you should be the teacher now. I can just sit back and sip my diet coke. Surely you've done this before! How can you do this so perfectly?" And sew on (Pun intended.) :-)

However, I occasionally have a student come in and say some thing to this effect, "Mrs. Stegall, I'll just take a bad grade today. I don't feel good."or "I have a headache." My response, you may ask? "Too bad. I have cancer, so I win. If I can teach, you can work!" Am I oozing with compassion or what?

If It Was Easy, Anybody Could Do It

Several of you have asked,"How's it going at school?" Remarkably well! We started on the sewing machine this week. They are really taking to it. They are AMAZED that with much perseverance they can actually sew a perfectly straight line. In fact, they have to sew 10 perfect lines before they can move on to turning corners. I'm such the perfectionist when it comes to learning to do it RIGHT. It pays off as the semester goes on.

I start off the week by telling them that they must learn to identify the parts of the sewing machine. How fun is that you ask? NONE! I then proceed to make the analogy of learning to drive a car. You must know the basic parts, and what they do before you can really drive-you know like the brakes, gas pedal, steering wheel, ignition, etc.

I tell them with great dramatics about my first time behind the wheel. My mother told my father that it was HIS turn to teach a child to drive. She had taught my 3 older brothers, so he had the dubious honor of teaching me. I was eager to go with him the next Saturday morning.

We went on a very rarely used road that was about a half mile long. I was exhilarated, but scared. When he told me to start the car, I turned the key and held it forever (it seemed). No, that wasn't right. I was supposed to turn the key until the motor turned over and LET GO. Oh. Ok. I got that. Next he told me to put the car in drive and head down the road. "How hard do I push down the gas pedal? How much do I turn the steering wheel to make the car turn where it should go?" On and on-you get the picture. After a few successful runs up and down the street, Daddy said, "OK, now you can learn to park." PARK?! No way was I able to do that. Daddy!

He insisted, "Look all you have to do is pull straight in. It's not like parallel parking Just pull straight in to beside that car." Gulp! As I headed into the space he said , "You're turning too sharp. Just put on the brake and back up. Then try again." Being the ever obedient daughter, I pushed hard - on the GAS!! I ran straight into the MAYOR'S car. Smashed his back door. Daddy said, "Wait here. I'll go handle this." He got back in the car and drove us home. I don't recall him ever mentioning it again. Somehow, I think he had had enough of teaching. The next week I had to opportunity to be enrolled in a driving school in Birmingham. Every lesson I took was in the 5 pm traffic, in the rain.

If I can learn to drive, I believe my students can learn to sew.

The Escape

Without my knowledge Bill called and made a reservation for us at the Marriott Shoals Friday night. We drove to Florence and roamed around a bit. Of course, we went over to the Robert Trent Jones golf course and went through the clubhouse. Then we went to this beautiful hotel. What a treat! That night we went into Florence to eat. We had a fabulous meal at a bustling Italian Cafe.

I have many memories of Florence from my childhood. I spent time there at my grandparents home all growing up. It felt like a walk down memory row. We went by my grandparents old home and I picked up a few pecans from the ground and ate them in memory of Andy, my grandfather. I remember many an afternoon sitting on the front porch swing, shelling butter beans and black-eyed peas. Andy was an organic gardener extraordinaire.

One of the more interesting highlights of our brief trip was the Renaissance Fair. I'm just going to level with you. There were some weird looking folks there. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb-that would have been Bill and me! In truth, they may have thought we were the weird ones.

My Superhero-My Husband

I (sorta) hate to make any of you women jealous, but I absolutely have the BEST husband around.

He cried when we first got my diagnosis. Then he complained about it because, "I'm supposed to be the rock here." I told him I really liked the tender warrior side of him. After the initial shock, he has become the superhero. He wants to do anything he even thinks I might want or need. This includes things like kidnapping me for the night last Friday. His encouragement, care, and love seem to know no bounds. Sometimes it makes me just want to "pinch myself" because I am so blessed to have someone like him to love me.

David the Encourager

When Bill heard my diagnosis he called his brother David to let him know what was going on with us. Ever the philosopher, David said," Here's a truism for you to hold on to. Things are never as bad or as good as they seem at first." If you think about it, I think he's probably right. Next, he encouraged Bill by saying ,"With all the progress that is being made in cancer research there is a good chance that Mary will live longer than you!" And there you have it my friends.

These Gadsden Ladies-Almost Unbelievable

When we got married I really meant it when I said, "Whither thou goest, I will go..." I never dreamed that he would take me to Gadsden. Just never even crossed my mind. However, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be. These folks here are the most welcoming, supportive, encouraging friends you'd ever want to be around. In less than a week I've:

• received numerous calls, emails, and in-person hugs
• received at least a dozen encouraging cards and notes
• had a friend go BUY a Sony recorder for me to record my doctor's visits
• received a spectacular basket with ivy, mums and crotons
• found a loaf of warm, homemade cinnamon swirl bread on the mailbox
• found two dozen cucumber sandwiches that had been left in my fridge for us to enjoy when we came home from the doctor
• received a love basket with two steaks, two potatoes, french bread, salad, blueberry pound cake and a vase of flowers!
• been given a bag of fresh shrimp from the beach
• received a book, "Fearless", by Max Lucado. How appropriate is that title?

This doesn't even count the men who have called Bill to ask about me and him. They have gathered around him as well with love and support. There are a couple of houses available in our neighborhood. Just move on up!

I Stand Corrected -YEA!!

This morning I called my doctor's office with some questions. One of my main questions was,"Do I need to alter my diet because of stomach cancer?" Seemed reasonable to me. Karen, the nurse practitioner said, "I don't think you have stomach cancer. Let me check your file." Sure enough, she came back and said that it is "in the abdominal area near (but not on/in ) your pancreas." Hooray!! I still have it in the other 3 areas, but I'm grateful it's not in my stomach.

Dreamin'-of Major Changes in Our Lives

Why is it that things never seem to get dull at our house? I thought at this age I was supposed to be sitting on my porch with a glass of iced tea, reading Southern Living, with grandchildren quietly reading books at my feet. There have been times when I have longed for dull. It just hasn't happened yet. As Sarah so wisely said to me once when she was a little girl, "Mama, dreams are free. Let me dream." Amen.

Yesterday, my day at the Kirklin Clinic started at 8:45 with a CT scan. We left Kirklin Clinic at 6:15! It was a VERY long day, but worth it to get everything done.

We left the clinic and headed to our dearest friends house. Was this a social call to Ricky and Marjean's, you may ask? No, indeed. We went to their house for Bill to sign the documents to sell our stores to Express Oil Change Corporate. That's right, we sold the assets to corporate. We still own (along with the bank :-) the building and land.We have a long term lease for them with corporate. We think this will be a good thing for everyone.

Meanwhile, Bill (in all his spare time) has started a new business. It's called Fairview Consulting. He will primarily be consulting architects and owners of construction. He and Fairview Consulting will be providing "Commissioning Authority" services. You will need to ask him what that means.

Oh, Little Gloworm

Do you remember glowworms? They were the little stuffed animal (worms) about 2 feet long that would light up when squeezed. Apparently, they were meant to comfort kids with a fear of the dark. Last night when I put on my gown I felt like a glowworm. My chest looked like it was painted (dare I use this word in civil talk?) crimson. I was injected with nuclear meds on Thursday, then Friday morning I was injected twice. Actually they stuck me 4 times to try to get the meds in for my bone scan. Don't you hate it when you have to get stuck and restuck. Ugh!

I really don't know if that's what made me so red, but it did remind me of the glowworm. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Dr.10 (Tian), MY HERO

I told you about how I discovered my breast cancer back in 2003. This time was very different. Almost since I moved to Gadsden I have been going to the best Chiropractor I have ever found.

Dr 10 was raised in Beijing where her father was a doctor. She became a surgical nurse. She came to Gadsden State Community College to work on English as a second language. She met and married a doctor here and then decided to go to chiropractor school. This summer she found this "place" on my back-beside my spine- that was new. She said,"Mary this is something different by your spine, I think you should have it checked out by your surgeon." What? A SURGEON?? Are you kidding? I can't even feel it. It doesn't hurt. I don't like to go to surgeons. They like to cut on people. Long story short she was right. The doctors at the Kirklin Clinic were mighty impressed. I might even go so far as to say awestruck. If Dr. 10 had not found this, I shutter to think where I'd be 6 months from now.

Cancer is a PAIN IN THE BUTT!!!

I mean that literally folks! Have you ever even heard of cancer in the gluts? Me neither. I have it. Don't laugh, I really do. It's in my left "cheek" just below my hip bone. People have accused me of being a pain in the butt at different times in my life (and in different ways), but I'd have never guessed this! I also have it in a place in the middle of my back beside (but not on) my spine. I also have it in my stomach and in one lymph node behind my abdominal wall. The doctor said this is very rare to have it in these places-particularly the gluts and back.

The GREAT NEWS is no surgery. I really hate surgery. Also no radiation. That's a positive. Hopefully, no chemotherapy. The doctor is giving me a pill called Femara that is a hormone blocker. He said it will take 6-8 weeks to tell if it will be effective. I'll go back in 8 weeks to see if it's reducing the cancer. I've taken similar drugs before and they made me feel achy (is that a word?) in my bones. I remember telling the doctor in Memphis that they made me feel like I was 103 years old. This is a different drug, so I want to hope for the best. If the drug is not effective, I'll take chemo- the ole quick and dirty method.

Bill is more hopeful than before so I'm grateful for that. I'm not sure yet what I feel. Relieved about no surgery, scared, grateful it's not worse. There are all kinds of thoughts roaming through my head. Bill and I are going to run away tomorrow. We are ready for a break. I'll probably "process" some then. I'll keep you informed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your love and prayers. They mean so much!

Way To Go, Mary Beth!

Mary Beth, my youngest in the purple in the photo above, has some pretty impressive talents. She makes a great omelet and I have given up trying on that. (Scrambled eggs are just fine thank you very much!) She is very hospitable. She and David have a different couple -seminary students-over every Thursday night for dinner to get to know them. She's working in Students Affairs at Covenant Seminary and seems to love it. She learning to be a great mom and wife. She completed a half marathon in Sept. with a 9 month old baby.

HOWEVER, there are a few things about the girl that can make this mom want to pull her hair out. How many glasses of coveted, and then half drunk, cranapple juice can one leave sitting around the house in one day? How many pairs of shoes can one scatter in every room of the house? It's endless, just endless.

In spite of all of the above, she takes time out of her really busy schedule to help her sometimes lame brained mom. At the age of 44 I had never turned on a computer. In fact, I had never even typed my name. Seems scandalous I know, but high school typing classes were always full. She gets the credit for NAGGING me to do this blog. (Did I really say nagging? Of course, I really meant she encouraged me). She set it up, did all the backgrounds and has patiently tried to get me out of the stone age. (Mom, surely you know what a tab button is!!!) Thank you, thank you, Mary Beth. No doubt, I could never have done it without you. We still need another tutorial on how to insert pictures. I've got some great ones.

The Evil Bandit

Fear is trying to creep in like a bandit. I don't like it. Do I also have stomach cancer? I can give you symptoms. How about chin cancer? My chin has had a under the surface rash for about 3-4 weeks that has been itching like the pox. Don't you think that should qualify as chin cancer?

I have a fingernail that keeps breaking. Do you think that particular fingernail has cancer?

Any of you out there great diagnosticians? Email me quickly and let me know please. It could really save me the time, effort, and queasiness during this next two days of testing. Thank you in advance.

Sewing Machine Blues

After a seemingly unending day at school I finally arrived home at 6pm. I had stayed what felt like FOREVER getting everything ready for my subs to come in for the next three days. The students are ticked off that they don't get to be on the sewing machines this week as we both had anticipated. It's just not something you start with a sub who literally doesn't know how to sew on a button. Training- it's all about good teaching and good habits from the start. Otherwise, the results would be disastrous. Maybe that's what rearing a family is all about too. Good, solid training from the early days to head off some of the disasters that will come their way....

Sensitivity Abounds in the Middle School Heart

Monday was the day to tell my students at school The News of my cancer. I had it all planned out. Just like last time. I wore my pink ribbon lapel pin to school and started out my talks with them by asking if they knew what it stood for. I was somewhat surprised that several in every class knew.

I went on to tell them that Friday I had been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I told them that I didn't have a complete evaluation yet, but it should come Thursday. Then I went on to explain how I can have peace even in this dire circumstance. It's my faith in a sovereign God.

I read Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Next I read Psalm 139:15-17

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts O God! How vast is the sum of them!"

Last of all I read Romans 8:28

"For we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him, to those who have been called according to his purpose."

My hope was to let them see that I can have peace when I have a God like that. My ultimate future and hope is to be in heaven- which will be GREAT. However, I wouldn't mind so much if it came later! God is not surprised by this. His timing is perfect.

OK, the funny part of this is, each time I was in the midst of telling this story a student would interrupt and say, "Who's our substitute gonna be?" Middle schoolers. Your got to love them.

Deer In The Headlights

Up until Sunday morning I had been peaceful with the news of my cancer. I was weary of having to tell people the news, but still I was "up". While in the shower Sun morning dread hit me in the face. Not dread of the disease, but dread of telling my Sunday school class. There are 25 DEAR women in there who are a tight knit group. I knew I wanted to be the one to tell them, but I hated to all the same. At least these were my thoughts while I was in the shower. I got out of the shower , dried off, put on my underpants and stood there (hair dripping), looking in my bathroom mirror. I was like a deer in the headlights. I turned to Bill and said, "I'm scattered (in my brain). I don't know what to do next." In typical Bill fashion he replied,"Put on your bra. Dry your hair. Go on auto-pilot." That was all I needed. I could do that- and I did. It was just the jump start I needed.

The Call You Never Want To Get

I got a call at school today. That in and of itself is surprising. I NEVER get calls at school. The fact that I was near enough to hear and answer it was remarkable. The call was from the Kirklin Clinic. Who and why? It was Dr. Krontiras-my oncologist. Why was she calling me now? I'm not supposed to hear the results of my biopsy until next Wednesday. This is Friday. Why was SHE calling me? Aren't nurses supposed to do that? Doctors don't call.

She said, "I'm very sorry to tell you that you have stage 4 metastatic breast cancer." What? WHAT?? Stage 4 -doesn't that mean you're DYING? Did she really say that? Meanwhile, a student walks up to my desk and says, "Mrs Stegall, do you hold your fabric this way to do this slip stitch?"

At that point I got up from my desk and walked into my office-away from the students. I said, "I'm so surprised. I hadn't expected this. How was my last cancer a stage 2B and this one is a 4?

She explained that any time a cancer spreads to another part of the body it automatically becomes stage 4. That made me feel a LITTLE better. She went on to tell me that I'd need to have 3 scans in the coming week-a PET scan, an abdominal scan, and a bone scan. On Thursday at 10:00 I will meet with her and my "oncology team" for a diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan.

Every hour seems like a year. When will Thursday ever come? Most of me is at peace. God is sovereign. This is not a surprise to God, and it not a mistake. Do I like it? NO!! Am I at peace with it -yes.

The Next Step

After the diagnosis, the really hard part came. I had to tell people. Like my husband and children type of people. Oh, gulp! How? I told Bill that evening. He was startled by the news, but in typical engineer style he said, "OK, Let's go see the doctor and see what to do to fix this." Does that sound like a man or what?

Harder still was calling my children. How do you pick up the phone and say "Guess what, I have cancer." I haven't found any good way to call with dreadful news. But, they HAD to know-and soon. They all reacted as I suspected. Each, in their own way, assured me of their love and concern. Each assured me of earnest prayer.

Next, I had to call my mother. At the time, she was caring for her husband, Bud who had had a debilitating stroke. She had her hands more than full caring for him. She had cared for my Daddy as he died of lung cancer. She had watched her mother-in-law and sister-in-law die of breast cancer. How could I do this to her? It was a gut wrenching call. Poor mama. She wanted to be with me-her only daughter, and she needed to be with Bud.

Let Start At The Very Beginning- A Very Good Place To Start

Let's Start At the Very Beginning-A Very Good Place to Start

Don't you just love The Sound of Music? I'd love to be on top of a mountain right now twirling around and singing.

In Jan. of 2003 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This came as a surprise-but not a shock.

I have a huge history of breast cancer in my family. My aunt, grandmother, great grandmother and her half sister all died of breast cancer.

I found my lump one freezing night on Memphis. I had begged my husband to build a fire-it was 7 degrees outside! I put on my gown by the fire, crossed my hands over my chest, and said "I'm still freezing!" That's when I felt it. My left breast had what I thought was a lump in it. I said, "Bill, come feel this place on my breast." He's happily complied. I knew. Right then. I just knew. I called the mammography center the next day and made an appointment. After what felt like an eternal wait I got confirmation. I had breast cancer.