The Call You Never Want To Get

I got a call at school today. That in and of itself is surprising. I NEVER get calls at school. The fact that I was near enough to hear and answer it was remarkable. The call was from the Kirklin Clinic. Who and why? It was Dr. Krontiras-my oncologist. Why was she calling me now? I'm not supposed to hear the results of my biopsy until next Wednesday. This is Friday. Why was SHE calling me? Aren't nurses supposed to do that? Doctors don't call.

She said, "I'm very sorry to tell you that you have stage 4 metastatic breast cancer." What? WHAT?? Stage 4 -doesn't that mean you're DYING? Did she really say that? Meanwhile, a student walks up to my desk and says, "Mrs Stegall, do you hold your fabric this way to do this slip stitch?"

At that point I got up from my desk and walked into my office-away from the students. I said, "I'm so surprised. I hadn't expected this. How was my last cancer a stage 2B and this one is a 4?

She explained that any time a cancer spreads to another part of the body it automatically becomes stage 4. That made me feel a LITTLE better. She went on to tell me that I'd need to have 3 scans in the coming week-a PET scan, an abdominal scan, and a bone scan. On Thursday at 10:00 I will meet with her and my "oncology team" for a diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan.

Every hour seems like a year. When will Thursday ever come? Most of me is at peace. God is sovereign. This is not a surprise to God, and it not a mistake. Do I like it? NO!! Am I at peace with it -yes.