Wednesday, October 28, 2009

If It Was Easy, Anybody Could Do It

Several of you have asked,"How's it going at school?" Remarkably well! We started on the sewing machine this week. They are really taking to it. They are AMAZED that with much perseverance they can actually sew a perfectly straight line. In fact, they have to sew 10 perfect lines before they can move on to turning corners. I'm such the perfectionist when it comes to learning to do it RIGHT. It pays off as the semester goes on.

I start off the week by telling them that they must learn to identify the parts of the sewing machine. How fun is that you ask? NONE! I then proceed to make the analogy of learning to drive a car. You must know the basic parts, and what they do before you can really drive-you know like the brakes, gas pedal, steering wheel, ignition, etc.

I tell them with great dramatics about my first time behind the wheel. My mother told my father that it was HIS turn to teach a child to drive. She had taught my 3 older brothers, so he had the dubious honor of teaching me. I was eager to go with him the next Saturday morning.
We went on a very rarely used road that was about a half mile long. I was exhilarated, but scared. When he told me to start the car, I turned the key and held it forever (it seemed). No, that wasn't right. I was supposed to turn the key until the motor turned over and LET GO. Oh. Ok. I got that. Next he told me to put the car in drive and head down the road. "How hard do I push down the gas pedal? How much do I turn the steering wheel to make the car turn where it should go?" On and on-you get the picture. After a few successful runs up and down the street, Daddy said, "OK, now you can learn to park." PARK?! No way was I able to do that. Daddy!
He insisted, "Look all you have to do is pull straight in. It's not like parallel parking Just pull straight in to beside that car." Gulp! As I headed into the space he said , "You're turning too sharp. Just put on the brake and back up. Then try again." Being the ever obedient daughter, I pushed hard - on the GAS!! I ran straight into the MAYOR'S car. Smashed his back door. Daddy said, "Wait here. I'll go handle this." He got back in the car and drove us home. I don't recall him ever mentioning it again. Somehow, I think he had had enough of teaching. The next week I had to opportunity to be enrolled in a driving school in Birmingham. Every lesson I took was in the 5 pm traffic, in the rain.

If I can learn to drive, I believe my students can learn to sew.




Monday, October 26, 2009

The Escape




Without my knowledge Bill called and made a reservation for us at the Marriott Shoals Friday night. We drove to Florence and roamed around a bit. Of course, we went over to the Robert Trent Jones golf course and went through the clubhouse. Then we went to this beautiful hotel. What a treat! That night we went into Florence to eat. We had a fabulous meal at a bustling Italian Cafe.

I have many memories of Florence from my childhood. I spent time there at my grandparents home all growing up. It felt like a walk down memory row. We went by my grandparents old home and I picked up a few pecans from the ground and ate them in memory of Andy, my grandfather. I remember many an afternoon sitting on the front porch swing, shelling butter beans and black-eyed peas. Andy was an organic gardener extraordinaire.

One of the more interesting highlights of our brief trip was the Renaissance Fair. I'm just going to level with you. There were some weird looking folks there. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb-that would have been Bill and me! In truth, they may have thought we were the weird ones.

My Superhero-My Husband




I (sorta) hate to make any of you women jealous, but I absolutely have the BEST husband around.
He cried when we first got my diagnosis. Then he complained about it because, "I'm supposed to be the rock here." I told him I really liked the tender warrior side of him. After the initial shock, he has become the superhero. He wants to do anything he even thinks I might want or need. This includes things like kidnapping me for the night last Friday. His encouragement, care, and love seem to know no bounds. Sometimes it makes me just want to "pinch myself" because I am so blessed to have someone like him to love me.

David the Encourager


When Bill heard my diagnosis he called his brother David to let him know what was going on with us. Ever the philosopher, David said," Here's a truism for you to hold on to. Things are never as bad or as good as they seem at first." If you think about it, I think he's probably right. Next, he encouraged Bill by saying ,"With all the progress that is being made in cancer research there is a good chance that Mary will live longer than you!" And there you have it my friends.

These Gadsden Ladies-Almost Unbelievable


When we got married I really meant it when I said, "Whither thou goest, I will go..." I never dreamed that he would take me to Gadsden. Just never even crossed my mind. However, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be. These folks here are the most welcoming, supportive, encouraging friends you'd ever want to be around. In less than a week I've:

  • received numerous calls, emails, and in-person hugs
  • received at least a dozen encouraging cards and notes
  • had a friend go BUY a Sony recorder for me to record my doctor's visits
  • received a spectacular basket with ivy, mums and crotons
  • found a loaf of warm, homemade cinnamon swirl bread on the mailbox
  • found two dozen cucumber sandwiches that had been left in my fridge for us to enjoy when we came home from the doctor
  • received a love basket with two steaks, two potatoes, french bread, salad, blueberry pound cake and a vase of flowers!
  • been given a bag of fresh shrimp from the beach
  • received a book, "Fearless", by Max Lucado. How appropriate is that title?
This doesn't even count the men who have called Bill to ask about me and him. They have gathered around him as well with love and support. There are a couple of houses available in our neighborhood. Just move on up!

I Stand Corrected -YEA!!


This morning I called my doctor's office with some questions. One of my main questions was,"Do I need to alter my diet because of stomach cancer?" Seemed reasonable to me. Karen, the nurse practitioner said, "I don't think you have stomach cancer. Let me check your file." Sure enough, she came back and said that it is "in the abdominal area near (but not on/in ) your pancreas." Hooray!! I still have it in the other 3 areas, but I'm grateful it's not in my stomach.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Dreamin'-of Major Changes in Our Lives

Why is it that things never seem to get dull at our house? I thought at this age I was supposed to be sitting on my porch with a glass of iced tea, reading Southern Living, with grandchildren quietly reading books at my feet. There have been times when I have longed for dull. It just hasn't happened yet. As Sarah so wisely said to me once when she was a little girl, "Mama, dreams are free. Let me dream." Amen.

Yesterday, my day at the Kirklin Clinic started at 8:45 with a CT scan. We left Kirklin Clinic at 6:15! It was a VERY long day, but worth it to get everything done.

We left the clinic and headed to our dearest friends house. Was this a social call to Ricky and Marjean's, you may ask? No, indeed. We went to their house for Bill to sign the documents to sell our stores to Express Oil Change Corporate. That's right, we sold the assets to corporate. We still own (along with the bank :-) the building and land.We have a long term lease for them with corporate. We think this will be a good thing for everyone.

Meanwhile, Bill (in all his spare time) has started a new business. It's called Fairview Consulting. He will primarily be consulting architects and owners of construction. He and Fairview Consulting will be providing "Commissioning Authority" services. You will need to ask him what that means.

Oh, Little Gloworm

Do you remember glowworms? They were the little stuffed animal (worms) about 2 feet long that would light up when squeezed. Apparently, they were meant to comfort kids with a fear of the dark. Last night when I put on my gown I felt like a glowworm. My chest looked like it was painted (dare I use this word in civil talk?) crimson. I was injected with nuclear meds on Thursday, then Friday morning I was injected twice. Actually they stuck me 4 times to try to get the meds in for my bone scan. Don't you hate it when you have to get stuck and restuck. Ugh!
I really don't know if that's what made me so red, but it did remind me of the glowworm. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Dr.10 (Tian), MY HERO

I told you about how I discovered my breast cancer back in 2003. This time was very different. Almost since I moved to Gadsden I have been going to the best Chiropractor I have ever found.
Dr 10 was raised in Beijing where her father was a doctor. She became a surgical nurse. She came to Gadsden State Community College to work on English as a second language. She met and married a doctor here and then decided to go to chiropractor school. This summer she found this "place" on my back-beside my spine- that was new. She said,"Mary this is something different by your spine, I think you should have it checked out by your surgeon." What? A SURGEON?? Are you kidding? I can't even feel it. It doesn't hurt. I don't like to go to surgeons. They like to cut on people. Long story short she was right. The doctors at the Kirklin Clinic were mighty impressed. I might even go so far as to say awestruck. If Dr. 10 had not found this, I shutter to think where I'd be 6 months from now.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Cancer is a PAIN IN THE BUTT!!!

I mean that literally folks! Have you ever even heard of cancer in the gluts? Me neither. I have it. Don't laugh, I really do. It's in my left "cheek" just below my hip bone. People have accused me of being a pain in the butt at different times in my life (and in different ways), but I'd have never guessed this! I also have it in a place in the middle of my back beside (but not on) my spine. I also have it in my stomach and in one lymph node behind my abdominal wall. The doctor said this is very rare to have it in these places-particularly the gluts and back.

The GREAT NEWS is no surgery. I really hate surgery. Also no radiation. That's a positive. Hopefully, no chemotherapy. The doctor is giving me a pill called Femara that is a hormone blocker. He said it will take 6-8 weeks to tell if it will be effective. I'll go back in 8 weeks to see if it's reducing the cancer. I've taken similar drugs before and they made me feel achy (is that a word?) in my bones. I remember telling the doctor in Memphis that they made me feel like I was 103 years old. This is a different drug, so I want to hope for the best. If the drug is not effective, I'll take chemo- the ole quick and dirty method.

Bill is more hopeful than before so I'm grateful for that. I'm not sure yet what I feel. Relieved about no surgery, scared, grateful it's not worse. There are all kinds of thoughts roaming through my head. Bill and I are going to run away tomorrow. We are ready for a break. I'll probably "process" some then. I'll keep you informed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your love and prayers. They mean so much!



Way To Go, Mary Beth!


Mary Beth, my youngest in the purple in the photo above, has some pretty impressive talents. She makes a great omelet and I have given up trying on that. (Scrambled eggs are just fine thank you very much!) She is very hospitable. She and David have a different couple -seminary students-over every Thursday night for dinner to get to know them. She's working in Students Affairs at Covenant Seminary and seems to love it. She learning to be a great mom and wife. She completed a half marathon in Sept. with a 9 month old baby.

HOWEVER, there are a few things about the girl that can make this mom want to pull her hair out. How many glasses of coveted, and then half drunk, cranapple juice can one leave sitting around the house in one day? How many pairs of shoes can one scatter in every room of the house? It's endless, just endless.

In spite of all of the above, she takes time out of her really busy schedule to help her sometimes lame brained mom. At the age of 44 I had never turned on a computer. In fact, I had never even typed my name. Seems scandalous I know, but high school typing classes were always full. She gets the credit for NAGGING me to do this blog. (Did I really say nagging? Of course, I really meant she encouraged me). She set it up, did all the backgrounds and has patiently tried to get me out of the stone age. (Mom, surely you know what a tab button is!!!) Thank you, thank you, Mary Beth. No doubt, I could never have done it without you. We still need another tutorial on how to insert pictures. I've got some great ones.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Evil Bandit

Fear is trying to creep in like a bandit. I don't like it. Do I also have stomach cancer? I can give you symptoms. How about chin cancer? My chin has had a under the surface rash for about 3-4 weeks that has been itching like the pox. Don't you think that should qualify as chin cancer?
I have a fingernail that keeps breaking. Do you think that particular fingernail has cancer?
Any of you out there great diagnosticians? Email me quickly and let me know please. It could really save me the time, effort, and queasiness during this next two days of testing. Thank you in advance.

Sewing Machine Blues

After a seemingly unending day at school I finally arrived home at 6pm. I had stayed what felt like FOREVER getting everything ready for my subs to come in for the next three days. The students are ticked off that they don't get to be on the sewing machines this week as we both had anticipated. It's just not something you start with a sub who literally doesn't know how to sew on a button. Training- it's all about good teaching and good habits from the start. Otherwise, the results would be disastrous. Maybe that's what rearing a family is all about too. Good, solid training from the early days to head off some of the disasters that will come their way....

Sensitivity Abounds in the Middle School Heart

Monday was the day to tell my students at school The News of my cancer. I had it all planned out. Just like last time. I wore my pink ribbon lapel pin to school and started out my talks with them by asking if they knew what it stood for. I was somewhat surprised that several in every class knew.

I went on to tell them that Friday I had been diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. I told them that I didn't have a complete evaluation yet, but it should come Thursday. Then I went on to explain how I can have peace even in this dire circumstance. It's my faith in a sovereign God.
I read Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

Next I read Psalm 139:15-17
"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts O God! How vast is the sum of them!"

Last of all I read Romans 8:28
"For we know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him, to those who have been called according to his purpose."

My hope was to let them see that I can have peace when I have a God like that. My ultimate future and hope is to be in heaven- which will be GREAT. However, I wouldn't mind so much if it came later! God is not surprised by this. His timing is perfect.

OK, the funny part of this is, each time I was in the midst of telling this story a student would interrupt and say, "Who's our substitute gonna be?" Middle schoolers. Your got to love them.

Deer In The Headlights

Up until Sunday morning I had been peaceful with the news of my cancer. I was weary of having to tell people the news, but still I was "up". While in the shower Sun morning dread hit me in the face. Not dread of the disease, but dread of telling my Sunday school class. There are 25 DEAR women in there who are a tight knit group. I knew I wanted to be the one to tell them, but I hated to all the same. At least these were my thoughts while I was in the shower. I got out of the shower , dried off, put on my underpants and stood there (hair dripping), looking in my bathroom mirror. I was like a deer in the headlights. I turned to Bill and said, "I'm scattered (in my brain). I don't know what to do next." In typical Bill fashion he replied,"Put on your bra. Dry your hair. Go on auto-pilot." That was all I needed. I could do that- and I did. It was just the jump start I needed.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

The Call You Never Want To Get

I got a call at school today. That in and of itself is surprising. I NEVER get calls at school. The fact that I was near enough to hear and answer it was remarkable. The call was from the Kirklin Clinic. Who and why? It was Dr. Krontiras-my oncologist. Why was she calling me now? I'm not supposed to hear the results of my biopsy until next Wednesday. This is Friday. Why was SHE calling me? Aren't nurses supposed to do that? Doctors don't call.

She said, "I'm very sorry to tell you that you have stage 4 metastatic breast cancer." What? WHAT?? Stage 4 -doesn't that mean you're DYING? Did she really say that? Meanwhile, a student walks up to my desk and says, "Mrs Stegall, do you hold your fabric this way to do this slip stitch?"

At that point I got up from my desk and walked into my office-away from the students. I said, "I'm so surprised. I hadn't expected this. How was my last cancer a stage 2B and this one is a 4?
She explained that any time a cancer spreads to another part of the body it automatically becomes stage 4. That made me feel a LITTLE better. She went on to tell me that I'd need to have 3 scans in the coming week-a PET scan, an abdominal scan, and a bone scan. On Thursday at 10:00 I will meet with her and my "oncology team" for a diagnosis, prognosis, and treatment plan.

Every hour seems like a year. When will Thursday ever come? Most of me is at peace. God is sovereign. This is not a surprise to God, and it not a mistake. Do I like it? NO!! Am I at peace with it -yes.

The Next Step


After the diagnosis, the really hard part came. I had to tell people. Like my husband and children type of people. Oh, gulp! How? I told Bill that evening. He was startled by the news, but in typical engineer style he said, "OK, Let's go see the doctor and see what to do to fix this." Does that sound like a man or what?

Harder still was calling my children. How do you pick up the phone and say "Guess what, I have cancer." I haven't found any good way to call with dreadful news. But, they HAD to know-and soon. They all reacted as I suspected. Each, in their own way, assured me of their love and concern. Each assured me of earnest prayer.

Next, I had to call my mother. At the time, she was caring for her husband, Bud who had had a debilitating stroke. She had her hands more than full caring for him. She had cared for my Daddy as he died of lung cancer. She had watched her mother-in-law and sister-in-law die of breast cancer. How could I do this to her? It was a gut wrenching call. Poor mama. She wanted to be with me-her only daughter, and she needed to be with Bud.

Let Start At The Very Beginning- A Very Good Place To Start


Let's Start At the Very Beginning-A Very Good Place to Start

Don't you just love The Sound of Music? I'd love to be on top of a mountain right now twirling around and singing.

In Jan. of 2003 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This came as a surprise-but not a shock.
I have a huge history of breast cancer in my family. My aunt, grandmother, great grandmother and her half sister all died of breast cancer.

I found my lump one freezing night on Memphis. I had begged my husband to build a fire-it was 7 degrees outside! I put on my gown by the fire, crossed my hands over my chest, and said "I'm still freezing!" That's when I felt it. My left breast had what I thought was a lump in it. I said, "Bill, come feel this place on my breast." He's happily complied. I knew. Right then. I just knew. I called the mammography center the next day and made an appointment. After what felt like an eternal wait I got confirmation. I had breast cancer.