MD Anderson and ME

Big News. I talked to a nurse at MD Anderson yesterday for a long time. It cleared up several things for me. First of all, she raved on and on about what a great facility UAB is. I agreed. Next, she told me that Femara, the drug that I take daily is the most common drug for metastatic breast cancer. She went on to explain that I should take Femara for 8-12 weeks before evaluating how well it's working. She explained that in the same way you take an antibiotic for an infection, no doctor would stop the treatment half way through to see if it was working. You take the full course of medicine. For a clearer picture of how my tumors are responding we need to evaluate after I've taken a "full course. " I'm penciled in for evaluation at MD Anderson Jan 4th. The scheduler there is checking her team's load to make sure that date will work for everyone involved. She also told me (as had my team of doctors at UAB) that surgery would not be an option because of the number and locations of my tumors. That was a HUGE relief. I can't even explain how much I hate surgery. "NEVER AGAIN" has been my motto about surgery. (Of course, I have been known to have to eat my words before.)

Another thing I excited about is that I get to wait until after the holidays to go to Houston. All the girls will be here on Christmas. I'm so glad we'll have that time together. We get to go to San Francisco to see Will, Jenny, and the kids for Thanksgiving. We can hardly wait! It's so fun to have these things to look forward to.

I feel back to my peaceful self. No more fear of surgery. I really am not feeling bad. What a blessing! If you're going to have cancer, it is definitely a benefit to have a kind that doesn't hurt.

I still get slammed by fatigue sometimes-but not always. It's very inconsistent. I think that I'm doing a great job of listening to my body. A few days ago, the end of 4th period came and I suddenly felt wiped out. I thought, I'll just go into my Home Ec living room (that adjoins my classroom) and lie down for ten minutes or so and that will revive me. Perfect time for my planning period. Well, 46 minutes later I woke up for a dead, drooling sleep! I had exactly 6 minutes until my next class came in. I was "fresh as a daisy" for the rest of the day. Think I needed that?

Sorry this has been so long. I wanted to catch you up on all the happenings.

Like A fish On A Hot Rock

Can't you just picture it? A fisherman out by a stream snags a fish, removes the hook and tosses the prize onto a rock at the waters edge. The fish are biting. He's got to keep casting to get more. The fish on the rock baking in the sun flips back and forth, back and forth desperately needing to flip back into that cool, life-giving water. Occasionally, one will manage to flip back in undetected when the fisherman's back is turned.

That fish has been like me the last couple of days. I flip from peace to fear, peace to fear. I had been very contentedly swimming in God's mercy, grace, and peace. Then I got snagged by fear and have become tossed about. I long to be back in the refreshing, life giving waters.

I have decided to go to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston for a second opinion. My cancer is very rare in it's manifestation. I'm hoping that perhaps they have dealt with cases like mine and will be able to advise me as to the best course of action. My great hope is that they will say "Take the Femara that UAB gave you and in some period of time you will be in remission."

My fear is that I'll go to Houston and they may say, "Ok, let's cut out those 3 operable tumors. We'll leave that inoperable one and give you some strong chemo then radiation to hopefully get rid of it." That's where the fear starts. I DON'T want surgery, chemo, and radiation again. I've been there and done that and it was a nightmare for me. Side effect lasted 2.5 years. On the other hand, I want to be around a lot longer. (I want my grandchildren's wedding programs to list seating of the grandmothers and that be ME! I don't want "the flowers are given in loving memory of Mimi...")

If you are the praying kind would you pray that I won't be tricked by the fancy bait that is thrown my way? I long to stay back in the life -giving waters of peace. I want to stay the course faithfully.

The Best Weekend Get Away Ever

Bill and I really needed a break. It seemed that our lives had been turned upside down in the last week. We decided to run away. We even missed the Squires annual Halloween Party (the only disappointment of the weekend). Bill and I had THE best weekend away we've ever had. It was lazy and fun. It was romantic and refreshing. It was-well you get the idea. It was great. If you ever feel the need for a real retreat and indulgence I've got just the place for you, Gorham's Bluff in Pisgah AL. Never heard of it? It's in the middle of nowhere on a bluff overlooking the Tennessee River. It's been rated as one of the most romantic places to go by Travel and Leisure magazine. It's been in Southern Living several times and in Southern Lady. Check it out. http://www.gorhamsbluff.com/ It seemed to be at the peak of fall color this weekend. An added bonus for us is that it's only a little over an hour from Gadsden. We would have rated the meals there as four star. Even the grits at breakfast were exceptional!

I Win- I've Got The Best Excuse Ever

School is actually fun these days. Almost all of the students are loving learning to sew. I try to brag about something that each student does every day. "Look how much you've improved over last time. Wow! I couldn't have done that any better myself! Maybe you should be the teacher now. I can just sit back and sip my diet coke. Surely you've done this before! How can you do this so perfectly?" And sew on (Pun intended.) :-)

However, I occasionally have a student come in and say some thing to this effect, "Mrs. Stegall, I'll just take a bad grade today. I don't feel good."or "I have a headache." My response, you may ask? "Too bad. I have cancer, so I win. If I can teach, you can work!" Am I oozing with compassion or what?