Alcatraz

Alcatraz is definitely not a place where anyone would ever want to spend time in prison. Talk about isolated! The cells are TINY-9'x7'. There was a bed, a toilet, a "table", a seat, and a shelf.

I didn't know, until I went that many of the guards and their families actually lived on the island. There were apartments for them. There were bowling alleys, garden clubs, and generally an "ideal life". The children of the guards would ride the ferry

over to San Francisco every day for school. It was a 12 minute ferry ride. It seems to me that one of the hardest things for a prisoner would be to look across the bay and see the city. They could see what was happening, but might as well have been a world away.

King Tut

On Wednesday afternoon Bill and I took Annie to the King tut exhibit at the DeYoung Museum. I have wanted to do that for years, but never seemed to be able to get there. It was amazing to see the abilities that the artist had 1,500 years before Christ! The jewelry was magnificent. The decorative vases, carved model boats, masks, and many, many other things were absolutely stunning. I wish we had been able to make pictures, but no photography was allowed.

Thanksgiving Feast

I'm not kidding about the feast part. Jenny, the trained chef, really outdid herself. My only contributions were apple cranberry bake, gravy, and pecan pies. She did everything else. Here's the menu.

Oven Roasted Turkey

Cornbread Dressing

Brussel Sprouts

Green Beans

Sweet Potatoes Au Gratin (to die for)

Winter Green Salad (with spring greens, feta cheese, pear, dried cranberries, pecans)

Apple Cranberry Bake

Pumpkin Pie

Pecan Pie

Annie worked most of the morning making complicated turkey name cards for each place setting. There was also a wreath made of assorted paper cut out (die cut) fall leaves. Bill and Will took the kids to the park while we (Jenny really) got it all together. That was a life saver.

What a wonderful day!

We were able to make some family pictures that day too. Thought you might enjoy seeing some of them.

Williams Sonoma

Would you believe the only store I entered the whole time I was in SF was the flagship store of Williams Sonoma? So unlike me. They had lots of great stuff-as always. However the thing that really caught my eye was a mold of small gingerbread houses. There are six different small houses in 1 mold. I thought-"Oh! these would be so fun to make with the grandchildren every Christmas."

Then I thought-I probably won't be here for more Christmases. I'm not going to spend $36. on a cake pan I may use once! However, Jenny's insisted, and I bought it. Morbid thoughts. Gotta get over that.

Crissy Field

Saturday morning we took the kids to Crissy Field while Will and Jenny did a bit of Christmas shopping nearby. The kids had a ball. This used to be a military air field and it's right on the ocean. To our left was the Golden Gate Bridge. In front of us was the Pacific Ocean with ships, sailboats, kite flyers, dogs chasing frisbees, and all manner of people. To our right was the city.

What a place!

MD Anderson and ME

Big News. I talked to a nurse at MD Anderson yesterday for a long time. It cleared up several things for me. First of all, she raved on and on about what a great facility UAB is. I agreed. Next, she told me that Femara, the drug that I take daily is the most common drug for metastatic breast cancer. She went on to explain that I should take Femara for 8-12 weeks before evaluating how well it's working. She explained that in the same way you take an antibiotic for an infection, no doctor would stop the treatment half way through to see if it was working. You take the full course of medicine. For a clearer picture of how my tumors are responding we need to evaluate after I've taken a "full course. " I'm penciled in for evaluation at MD Anderson Jan 4th. The scheduler there is checking her team's load to make sure that date will work for everyone involved. She also told me (as had my team of doctors at UAB) that surgery would not be an option because of the number and locations of my tumors. That was a HUGE relief. I can't even explain how much I hate surgery. "NEVER AGAIN" has been my motto about surgery. (Of course, I have been known to have to eat my words before.)

Another thing I excited about is that I get to wait until after the holidays to go to Houston. All the girls will be here on Christmas. I'm so glad we'll have that time together. We get to go to San Francisco to see Will, Jenny, and the kids for Thanksgiving. We can hardly wait! It's so fun to have these things to look forward to.

I feel back to my peaceful self. No more fear of surgery. I really am not feeling bad. What a blessing! If you're going to have cancer, it is definitely a benefit to have a kind that doesn't hurt.

I still get slammed by fatigue sometimes-but not always. It's very inconsistent. I think that I'm doing a great job of listening to my body. A few days ago, the end of 4th period came and I suddenly felt wiped out. I thought, I'll just go into my Home Ec living room (that adjoins my classroom) and lie down for ten minutes or so and that will revive me. Perfect time for my planning period. Well, 46 minutes later I woke up for a dead, drooling sleep! I had exactly 6 minutes until my next class came in. I was "fresh as a daisy" for the rest of the day. Think I needed that?

Sorry this has been so long. I wanted to catch you up on all the happenings.

Like A fish On A Hot Rock

Can't you just picture it? A fisherman out by a stream snags a fish, removes the hook and tosses the prize onto a rock at the waters edge. The fish are biting. He's got to keep casting to get more. The fish on the rock baking in the sun flips back and forth, back and forth desperately needing to flip back into that cool, life-giving water. Occasionally, one will manage to flip back in undetected when the fisherman's back is turned.

That fish has been like me the last couple of days. I flip from peace to fear, peace to fear. I had been very contentedly swimming in God's mercy, grace, and peace. Then I got snagged by fear and have become tossed about. I long to be back in the refreshing, life giving waters.

I have decided to go to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston for a second opinion. My cancer is very rare in it's manifestation. I'm hoping that perhaps they have dealt with cases like mine and will be able to advise me as to the best course of action. My great hope is that they will say "Take the Femara that UAB gave you and in some period of time you will be in remission."

My fear is that I'll go to Houston and they may say, "Ok, let's cut out those 3 operable tumors. We'll leave that inoperable one and give you some strong chemo then radiation to hopefully get rid of it." That's where the fear starts. I DON'T want surgery, chemo, and radiation again. I've been there and done that and it was a nightmare for me. Side effect lasted 2.5 years. On the other hand, I want to be around a lot longer. (I want my grandchildren's wedding programs to list seating of the grandmothers and that be ME! I don't want "the flowers are given in loving memory of Mimi...")

If you are the praying kind would you pray that I won't be tricked by the fancy bait that is thrown my way? I long to stay back in the life -giving waters of peace. I want to stay the course faithfully.

The Best Weekend Get Away Ever

Bill and I really needed a break. It seemed that our lives had been turned upside down in the last week. We decided to run away. We even missed the Squires annual Halloween Party (the only disappointment of the weekend). Bill and I had THE best weekend away we've ever had. It was lazy and fun. It was romantic and refreshing. It was-well you get the idea. It was great. If you ever feel the need for a real retreat and indulgence I've got just the place for you, Gorham's Bluff in Pisgah AL. Never heard of it? It's in the middle of nowhere on a bluff overlooking the Tennessee River. It's been rated as one of the most romantic places to go by Travel and Leisure magazine. It's been in Southern Living several times and in Southern Lady. Check it out. http://www.gorhamsbluff.com/ It seemed to be at the peak of fall color this weekend. An added bonus for us is that it's only a little over an hour from Gadsden. We would have rated the meals there as four star. Even the grits at breakfast were exceptional!

I Win- I've Got The Best Excuse Ever

School is actually fun these days. Almost all of the students are loving learning to sew. I try to brag about something that each student does every day. "Look how much you've improved over last time. Wow! I couldn't have done that any better myself! Maybe you should be the teacher now. I can just sit back and sip my diet coke. Surely you've done this before! How can you do this so perfectly?" And sew on (Pun intended.) :-)

However, I occasionally have a student come in and say some thing to this effect, "Mrs. Stegall, I'll just take a bad grade today. I don't feel good."or "I have a headache." My response, you may ask? "Too bad. I have cancer, so I win. If I can teach, you can work!" Am I oozing with compassion or what?

If It Was Easy, Anybody Could Do It

Several of you have asked,"How's it going at school?" Remarkably well! We started on the sewing machine this week. They are really taking to it. They are AMAZED that with much perseverance they can actually sew a perfectly straight line. In fact, they have to sew 10 perfect lines before they can move on to turning corners. I'm such the perfectionist when it comes to learning to do it RIGHT. It pays off as the semester goes on.

I start off the week by telling them that they must learn to identify the parts of the sewing machine. How fun is that you ask? NONE! I then proceed to make the analogy of learning to drive a car. You must know the basic parts, and what they do before you can really drive-you know like the brakes, gas pedal, steering wheel, ignition, etc.

I tell them with great dramatics about my first time behind the wheel. My mother told my father that it was HIS turn to teach a child to drive. She had taught my 3 older brothers, so he had the dubious honor of teaching me. I was eager to go with him the next Saturday morning.

We went on a very rarely used road that was about a half mile long. I was exhilarated, but scared. When he told me to start the car, I turned the key and held it forever (it seemed). No, that wasn't right. I was supposed to turn the key until the motor turned over and LET GO. Oh. Ok. I got that. Next he told me to put the car in drive and head down the road. "How hard do I push down the gas pedal? How much do I turn the steering wheel to make the car turn where it should go?" On and on-you get the picture. After a few successful runs up and down the street, Daddy said, "OK, now you can learn to park." PARK?! No way was I able to do that. Daddy!

He insisted, "Look all you have to do is pull straight in. It's not like parallel parking Just pull straight in to beside that car." Gulp! As I headed into the space he said , "You're turning too sharp. Just put on the brake and back up. Then try again." Being the ever obedient daughter, I pushed hard - on the GAS!! I ran straight into the MAYOR'S car. Smashed his back door. Daddy said, "Wait here. I'll go handle this." He got back in the car and drove us home. I don't recall him ever mentioning it again. Somehow, I think he had had enough of teaching. The next week I had to opportunity to be enrolled in a driving school in Birmingham. Every lesson I took was in the 5 pm traffic, in the rain.

If I can learn to drive, I believe my students can learn to sew.

The Escape

Without my knowledge Bill called and made a reservation for us at the Marriott Shoals Friday night. We drove to Florence and roamed around a bit. Of course, we went over to the Robert Trent Jones golf course and went through the clubhouse. Then we went to this beautiful hotel. What a treat! That night we went into Florence to eat. We had a fabulous meal at a bustling Italian Cafe.

I have many memories of Florence from my childhood. I spent time there at my grandparents home all growing up. It felt like a walk down memory row. We went by my grandparents old home and I picked up a few pecans from the ground and ate them in memory of Andy, my grandfather. I remember many an afternoon sitting on the front porch swing, shelling butter beans and black-eyed peas. Andy was an organic gardener extraordinaire.

One of the more interesting highlights of our brief trip was the Renaissance Fair. I'm just going to level with you. There were some weird looking folks there. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb-that would have been Bill and me! In truth, they may have thought we were the weird ones.

My Superhero-My Husband

I (sorta) hate to make any of you women jealous, but I absolutely have the BEST husband around.

He cried when we first got my diagnosis. Then he complained about it because, "I'm supposed to be the rock here." I told him I really liked the tender warrior side of him. After the initial shock, he has become the superhero. He wants to do anything he even thinks I might want or need. This includes things like kidnapping me for the night last Friday. His encouragement, care, and love seem to know no bounds. Sometimes it makes me just want to "pinch myself" because I am so blessed to have someone like him to love me.

David the Encourager

When Bill heard my diagnosis he called his brother David to let him know what was going on with us. Ever the philosopher, David said," Here's a truism for you to hold on to. Things are never as bad or as good as they seem at first." If you think about it, I think he's probably right. Next, he encouraged Bill by saying ,"With all the progress that is being made in cancer research there is a good chance that Mary will live longer than you!" And there you have it my friends.

These Gadsden Ladies-Almost Unbelievable

When we got married I really meant it when I said, "Whither thou goest, I will go..." I never dreamed that he would take me to Gadsden. Just never even crossed my mind. However, I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be. These folks here are the most welcoming, supportive, encouraging friends you'd ever want to be around. In less than a week I've:

• received numerous calls, emails, and in-person hugs
• received at least a dozen encouraging cards and notes
• had a friend go BUY a Sony recorder for me to record my doctor's visits
• received a spectacular basket with ivy, mums and crotons
• found a loaf of warm, homemade cinnamon swirl bread on the mailbox
• found two dozen cucumber sandwiches that had been left in my fridge for us to enjoy when we came home from the doctor
• received a love basket with two steaks, two potatoes, french bread, salad, blueberry pound cake and a vase of flowers!
• been given a bag of fresh shrimp from the beach
• received a book, "Fearless", by Max Lucado. How appropriate is that title?

This doesn't even count the men who have called Bill to ask about me and him. They have gathered around him as well with love and support. There are a couple of houses available in our neighborhood. Just move on up!